The things women do to themselves around the holidays

As Christmas fast approaches and everyone is running around trying to get prepared or wrap up work for the year, I've been watching women rob themselves of their own power and self-trust.

I see it year-round, but the holidays really ramp it up, because it's so easy to do the three things that can undermine your relationship with yourself.

Comparing yourself with others.

Judging yourself.

People pleasing.

When we do this it sends a clear message to ourselves.

"There's something wrong with me"

"I'm not good enough."

Both are deeply rooted fears that tend to surface whenever there's any sense of pressure or a feeling like we have to "get it right".

Which often happens around holiday parties, buying just the right gift, and seeing extended family where relationships might be strained.

And especially around creating "perfect holiday memories" for our children and families.

So to help you get through the next week, I want to offer you a simple tool.

Be your own greatest friend and support.

When you notice you're being self-critical, take a moment and imagine what you would tell your closest friend if she confessed that she was thinking and feeling the way you do.

Then tell yourself that!

When you catch yourself feeling overwhelmed or frantic, ask yourself in the same way you would your best friend "What do you need right now? What can I do that would help."

When you start to treat yourself like a loving friend, you build self-trust and self-love, and THAT goes a long way toward helping us stay grounded when faced with the challenges the holidays can bring.